Would It Be Feasible for Me to Throw Myself in Front Of My Own Train?


Conductor: This is a Manhattan-bound number three train; next stop is Sutter avenue-Rutland road; stand clear of the closing doors please. [Doors close and open again.]Conductor: Please do not block the doors, stand clear, please. [Doors close and open again.]Conductor: Do not block the doors. Stand clear, please. [Doors close and open again.]Conductor: For the last motherfucking time...


Dating in Williamsburg: Encapsulated.


Cute 20-something girl: I’ve been listening to a lot of Fleetwood Mac recently. I forgot how much I liked them for a while and then they came on when I had my iPod on shuffle mod, and I was like, “oh yeah, these guys rock!“20-something dude: Fleetwood Mac?Cute 20-somehting girl: Yeah… The band? Fleetwood Mac.20-something dude: Oh, I don’t know them.Cute 20-something girl: You’ve never heard of...


Wednesday One-Liners Are So Fucking Glad It’s Over


Conductor: This is Prince Street. Not Half-blood Prince Street, but Prince Street. –N train Overheard by: she later invited the passengers to debate whether snape was a criminal or a hero 30-year old fan: … And then he sprinkled magic dust over her throbbing vagina… –Book release, Spring & Mercer Overheard by: santos l. halper Man to five-year-old son: Yeah, you know Harry Potter is now in this...