Wednesday One-Liners Have Been Formatted to Fit Your Screen

https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/11958.html

Southern tourist: By the way, if you’re ever watching Law and Order, this is where everyone gets murdered and gets raped.

–Central Park South

Overheard by: Adam Schiff

Man lunching with buddy: No, I’m not a monk. That was just TV.

–18th & 5th

Crazy guy, through ventilator: Sonoco… Cablevision… Sonoco… Cablevision… Sonoco… Cablevision…

–West End Ave

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Trader on cell: Well, she’s certainly not MTV yet — not VH1. She’s more like 60 Minutes.

–Trading floor, NY Stock Exchange

Overheard by: Trader Joey

Hot girl to boyfriend: See, I don’t think ass sex is necessarily something I want to do whilst watching X-Files

–Pietrasanta Restaurant, Hell’s Kitchen

Overheard by: Ta-da!

Enthusiastic hobo: What time is Desperate Housewives on?!

–Astor Pl

Man, after changing his shoes in a lively manner: What, you never saw Mr. Rogers?

–Jamaica-bound E train

Overheard by: He Was Quite Handsome…..

You May Now Kiss the Wednesday One-Liner

https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/10930.html

Woman: Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I have to touch him!

–W 32nd & 5th

Street preacher pointing at ladies in short skirts: We’ve gotta get them married! We can’t be havin’ them fornicating in the streets!

–59th & 5th

Lady on cell: I mean, there were some funny pictures… Whitney freaking on me just isn’t what I had in mind… I just don’t really want pictures of beer pong in my wedding album, y’know?

–Gramercy Park

20-ish girl on cell: Grandma, it is so important that you are at my wedding. I need to have you there… Dad and I were talking, and we’re going to get you a refundable ticket… Just in case anything happens.

–Chinatownbus

Overheard by: Kaiti

Man to friend: No, it’s over. We had the wedding planned and everything and then she never got a divorce.

–NJ Transit to Penn Station

Variety: Torch Chick Doesn’t Click

https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/13305.html

Tourist girl #1, looking at Statue of Liberty: I don’t get it.
Tourist girl #2: Don’t get what?
Tourist girl #1: Why a chick with a torch? I mean, honestly — what American came up with the idea of building a giant chick with a torch?
Tourist girl #2: Actually, it was designed by the French.
Tourist girl #1: Well, that makes more sense. They’re always putting up giant, crazy things. The guy who did this should get together with that Eiffel Tower guy.
Tourist girl #2, shaking head and sighing: Why am I friends with you?

–Circle Line Ferry

Overheard by: Kitty

Big Yellow Wednesday One-Liner

https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/25053.html

Cab driver to guy getting in front seat and putting on seatbelt: What's da matter? You scared or something?!

–23rd St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: Murray

Moroccan taxi driver: Always watch out for Chinese and New Jersey licence plates, they are the worst drivers in the world.

–Midtown

Overheard by: Ana

Cab driver, shouting at passersby in crosswalk: Need some rain out here, Lord! Get 'em in my cab!

–24th & 6th

Overheard by: Oh NYC-you amuse me so

Ambulance driver, over loudspeaker, stuck behind cab refusing to pull over despite lights and sirens: It's pretty clear why you drive a fucking cab for a living.

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: trafficjunky