Guy: I love you, you know that? Girlfriend: Fuck you. I know you fucked my sister. It's over. Guy: But I love you! (girl slaps him and walks away) Guy, to barista: I probably deserved that. Barista: Fuck you.
–Gorilla Coffee, Park Slope
Girl looking in mirror: You know what? I would make a really good-looking crack whore. Boy: What? … Probably.
–Weinstein Residence Hall, NYU
Overheard by: EmilyHeadline by: EthanRunners-Up:
· “All he heard was “whore”” – Marigumi
· “Holding the mirror between her legs” – anne nahm
· “I’ll agree with whatever gets me laid” – Dustin
· “Lose a few teef, add a few bruises, I be shinin'” – Dingolite
· “This Is Your Brain on Uggs” – NK
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Urban Tarzan: I grew up in a house of monkeys. My mother was a monkey, my father was a monkey, my brother was a pig.
–Main St, Roosevelt Island
Overheard by: king volcano
Customer on cell: Well, the kids finally found Grandma’s python.
–Dollar Store, Fulton St
Overheard by: fiat lux
Genius: I really can’t stand cats. They’re just furry rats.
–Washington Square Park
Woman: I feel so guilty when the cat catches me masturbating.
–B&J Fabrics, 7th Ave
Overheard by: Shamrock
Young man on cell: Wait. Are you talking about what’s normal for penguins or what’s normal for four-year-olds?
–Elevator, Bellevue Hospital
Overheard by: patient
White teen: Turkeys are mad strong, you know that?
–Bleecker between Lafayette & Broadway
Overheard by: Jon A.
Middle-aged woman on cell: I have to get home to cook spaghetti for my cat.
–3rd Ave, between 53rd & 54th
Crying screaming Indian girl: I am so sick of this! I do so much for you, you mean everything to me and I am so sick of this! I was there for you! Nothing mattered to you! Asian ex-boyfriend: Ummm… Indian girl: And I am so tired of you choosing them over me. Always choosing the Asian girls over me! It never matters, because you always choose the Asians!
–NYU Silver Center
Art student guy: Yeah, you’re pretty lucky that you’ve never seen me not high. Art student chick: Why is that? Art student guy: It’s weird — I get all inspired to live and shit. Art student chick: Ew.
–School of Visual Arts
Overheard by: dobby