Puts the ‘Narc’ in Narcissism


Girl looking in mirror: You know what? I would make a really good-looking crack whore.
Boy: What? … Probably. –Weinstein Residence Hall, NYU Overheard by: Emily Headline by: Ethan Runners-Up: · “All he heard was “whore”” – Marigumi · “Holding the mirror between her legs” – anne nahm · “I’ll agree with whatever gets me laid” – Dustin · “Lose a few teef, add a few bruises, I be shinin'” – Dingolite · “This Is Your Brain on Uggs” – NK
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Looks Like a Job for the Wednesday One-Liner Whisperer


Urban Tarzan: I grew up in a house of monkeys. My mother was a monkey, my father was a monkey, my brother was a pig. –Main St, Roosevelt Island Overheard by: king volcano Customer on cell: Well, the kids finally found Grandma’s python. –Dollar Store, Fulton St Overheard by: fiat lux Genius: I really can’t stand cats. They’re just furry rats. –Washington Square Park Woman: I feel so guilty when the cat catches me masturbating. –B&J Fabrics, 7th Ave Overheard by: Shamrock Young man on cell: Wait. Are you talking about what’s normal for penguins or what’s normal for four-year-olds? –Elevator, Bellevue Hospital Overheard by: patient White teen: Turkeys are mad strong, you know that? –Bleecker between Lafayette & Broadway Overheard by: Jon A. Middle-aged woman on cell: I have to get home to cook spaghetti for my cat. –3rd Ave, between 53rd & 54th

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They Can't Even Drive You Anywhere!


Crying screaming Indian girl: I am so sick of this! I do so much for you, you mean everything to me and I am so sick of this! I was there for you! Nothing mattered to you!
Asian ex-boyfriend: Ummm…
Indian girl: And I am so tired of you choosing them over me. Always choosing the Asian girls over me! It never matters, because you always choose the Asians! –NYU Silver Center

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