Wednesday One-liners Might Have Food Issues

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/001818.html

Guy: Nah, I’m trying to get that six pack for summer. I’m not going for the dashboard stomach or anything. Besides, the dashboard on my car isn’t looking too good, ya know? –Godiva, Nassau Street Overheard by: J Woman: She’s not trying anorexia, is she? She’s not in that adolescent phase yet, right? –85th & 5th Overheard by: Kaitlen Girl: Well, she should tell her doctor…and her waitress. –Fordham Overheard by: Trix Hobo: Hey, I’m really hungry. Really hungry, man. I ain’t eaten in the past coupla days. That’s why I’m losing weight. Except I’m so muscular, so I look healthy, but I’m hungry. And it’s hot outside, so I’m losing more weight. And I am muscular. –F train Queer: You know, whenever they show models in movies being obsessive about what they eat and their weight or something, it’s always presented like it’s this vain and self-indulgent thing, but, I mean, they’re models. It’s their job. It’s like for your job. You needed a Master’s Degree, right? Well, they need an eating disorder. –2 train Girl: I think he thought I was calling him fat. I wasn’t, though! I was calling him pregnant. –D train

Better Spit Out That Gum Before Walking

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Gum-chewing chick #1: He should get life for what he did.
Gum-chewing chick #2: Life? He should be executed!
Gum-chewing chick #1: That’s what I mean! He should get life!
Gum-chewing chick #2: That’s not what “getting life” means. “Getting life” means you go to prison for the rest of your life. Don’t you know anything?
Gum-chewing chick #1: Well, I don’t read the papers or watch the news… –Staten Island Ferry Overheard by: Johnny Drongo

There’s No Wednesday One-Liners in Baseball!

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/012612.html

Flustered waiter: What was I doing? What was I doing?! Oh, that’s right — crying about how my life turned out. –Rachel’s Restaurant Mets fan: Yeah, man, my family is really competitive when it comes to sports, so last weekend we all went skiing. At the end of the day, it’s really a family bonding experience, so it’s good if we laugh at each other. If we make each other cry, that’s even better! –Shea Stadium Drug dealer to crying girl: Don’t cry. Buy some weed. –Christopher St, between Bleecker & Hudson Chubby girl, excitedly: Exactly two months ago at this time, I was crying in a bathroom! –L platform, Lorimer. Overheard by: einladle Stoner: If by crying you mean ‘ice cream and ecstasy,’ then yeah. –9th & 3rd Overheard by: Ryan H

Parts Of Wednesday One-Liners Are Really Quite Nice

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Irate professional woman on cell: I raced down to Penn Station to buy a ticket to New Jersey, and now you tell me you're going to Hooters? –Penn Station Overheard by: Erin and Willa Blonde hipster: I knew I needed to get out of there when I heard her saying, "we should go to that bar next because it's near the PATH!" –Rivington & Essex Train conductor: The next stop is Park Place. Transfer is available to the a, c, e and PATH to Newwwwwwwwwww Jersey. I also have wonderful news that I am dying to tell you today. All 2 and 3 trains are making local stops this weekend. There are no express trains because of service changes. –2 Train Girl, interrupting singing couple: Guys, we need to class it up, we are not in Jersey anymore! –5th Ave & 86th Overheard by: GerMan in NY Four-year-old boy: I don't wanna go to New Jersey! –New Jersey Transit Terminal, Penn Station Hipster: But you were in New Jersey when you got pregnant, it's okay. –1st & St. Mark's